When I was 21 years old in college, I still had never had an orgasm.
I grew up Catholic, had experienced childhood sexual abuse, and hated my body…so the odds were pretty stacked against me when it came to experiencing a mind-blowing orgasm….
My friends would describe their experiences of blissful pleasure and I’d be half-jealous and half-bitter (the best combination if you want to feel terrible about yourself and others!!)….
Then I started dating this guy who had already graduated and had his own tutoring company and smoked a lot of pot and drove me around on his motorcycle in the Palo Alto hills.
He wasn’t like, an incredible lover or anything, but he looked me in the eyes.
Like, deeply in the eyes while touching me and making love.
At first I was shy, then a bit freaked out, then a little nauseous…until I thought, “Why the hell am I so scared to look at him when he is actually literally inside of me?”
So one afternoon, I got up the courage to look straight back at him as he touched me.
And as I connected with him, I felt his love. I felt his soul. I felt his humanity connecting with mine…
And all of a sudden an orgasm rushed through me!!!
We weren’t in our own worlds doing our own things…we were two soft human beings on the most intimate journey two people can take…together.
That’s the power of eye-gazing.
I always say my deepest desire is to be at one with my love at the height of our pleasure…and the key way we do that is through our eyes.
If you don’t ever do eye-gazing, you can live in your own separate worlds no matter how connected you make your bodies….