Even though oral sex can be one of the most delicious, pleasurable, and intimate experiences…
SO many women tend to get stuck in their heads.
Insecurities and distracting thoughts can pop up and take away from the absolute bliss that’s available during cunnilingus.
So if you find yourself worrying about whether you’ve shaved, whether you smell, or whether you fed the cat while receiving oral sex…
And you’d rather be able to stop those thoughts and drop fully into your body and the divine pleasure of oral sex…
Then watch the video below to learn my top 3 tips for getting out of your head while he/she’s going down.
Want to learn my 5 holistic tools for profound levels of pleasure, connection, and liberation during sexual experiences? Then get my FREE Sacred Sexuality Kit where you’ll get 5 practices that teach you my 5 holistic tools for expanded consciousness and self-realization through sexual experiences.
Getting Out Of Your Head While He/She’s Going Down
So everyone makes such a huge deal out of oral sex, right? And the kind of cultural story right now is like, it is the way to get a woman off and it’s so amazing. And it’s so powerful that more and more people are embracing cunnilingus. Cunnilingus, cunnilingus? I think so.
And upping their skills and spending loads of time on their lover’s bodies, because it is so valuable to have that kind of attention and focus on the clitoris and to have that kind of soft, luscious attention on the clitoris.
Because so many women don’t orgasm through sexual penetration or penetration of any kind, this is one of the sexual techniques that leads to the highest rates of orgasm.
Yes. However, because everyone’s like oral sex this, and oral sex that, sometimes you can feel like I should be loving it. I don’t love it all the time. Sometimes I’m like, “Whoa, that’s super intense. And whoa, that’s really wet. And I don’t know, that’s a lot.”
And we can get into our heads by being like, “Did I miss a spot shaving?” Or if you’re like me, I’ll be like, “Did that laser appointment leave weird red bumps on my asshole?” Just me.
Anyways, and you can also be like, “Do I smell okay?” Like there was one time that Andrew was like, “Your pussy smells a little funny” in eight years, and I still remember it.
It can be a lot, right? And also I find that oral sex technique, it’s like my body wants something different almost every time. It’s where I get the most specific around like how I want to be licked and what feels good.
And sometimes, it’s like way too much, like it feels like somebody’s taking like an ice pick to my clitoris. It’s like so super intense and over the top. And sometimes it’s like, “What are you doing down there?”
So, there’s this massive variation in what I like and how I like it. So just trying to normalize the fact that just because yes, it’s amazing to receive oral sex and sometimes, you can have a hard time getting out of your head and enjoying it.
So I want to share three amazing tips with you that can help you get out of your head and down into your pussy where all the magic happens during oral sex.
Tip number one is to practice breath work, to calm your racing thoughts.
So if you find yourself in your head, if you start to breathe more slowly and more fully than you normally do, with a focus on your pussy, almost like you could inhale all the way into your pussy and exhale out from your pussy. What happens is you will calm down the racing thoughts part of your mind, the prefrontal cortex.
It actually relaxes during breath work and it activates and soothes your entire nervous system in a very beautiful way. So it activates the deeper parts of your nervous system that have to do with sensitivity and connection to emotions, and it relaxes the mental parts of your nervous system. So it’s a perfect technique for getting into your body and out of your head.
Once you’ve calmed those thoughts, what happens is you have more bandwidth to be aware of the sensations that are happening in your pussy, which is what can make oral sex feel so, so good.
So breathwork is one of my five holistic tools for experiencing epic sex. And if you want to learn them, I have a Sacred Sexuality Starter kit. It’s totally free, you can get it by clicking down below and entering your email address. And in this, you’re going to learn all five tools to be able to have the most epic sex possible.
Tip number two is focus on the pleasure and not anything else.
So I know it sounds so simple and yet it’s so crazy. It’s like, I said the other day on like a mushroom trip, I was like, “Man, everybody on earth is just trying to cope with all this beauty,” like just trying to handle the fact that we got given this unbelievable life with these magnificent bodies that do things like have ecstatic orgasms. We’re just trying to handle it all, like Netflix and snacks and our phones, all the things.
Anyways, the point being that sometimes it’s really effing hard to focus on pleasure, even though it should be the thing that you want to feel. We often are subtly trying to escape pleasure all the time for a wide variety of reasons, including religious conditioning and unworthiness and feeling like it’s dangerous. And it’s a lot to be a human.
And so we can really focus that in on struggles with oral sex, which is like, it’s a lot to be a human having another human licking your clitoris while you’re trying not to think about your to-do lists and focusing on your pleasure instead.
So what would you be focusing on besides your pleasure? Well, all of the things that might be wrong with you, but really a lot of future oriented thoughts like, “Am I going to cum and am I experiencing enough pleasure? Should I be doing something differently?”
All of this takes you out of your body, puts you into your mind, into the place where orgasm doesn’t happen. So that’s why it is so counterintuitive, but not focusing on orgasm shifts where you are inside of your nervous system. And what part of you is activated.
So you shift out of your thinking because when you are future oriented, you are in the prefrontal cortex where no amazing orgasms happen. And you downgrade into your somatic system where you can actually experience the most incredible orgasms.
But the key to doing that is by making your pleasure a meditation and making your pleasure a meditation means that you’re not trying to push your pleasure or get more pleasure or judge your pleasure. You’re just being with your pleasure.
And while that can sound kind of esoteric, it’s like taking, whereas my every day, like Layla is up here or Layla is here. Like I’m either in my head or my heart. If you want to have the most outrageous orgasm, you go, “Layla is in my pussy.” I mean that, you get it. You’re in your own pussy kind of situation.
I’m in my own pussy. So it’s like, instead of being here, I’m here in pussy. And then in feeling my pussy, I’m not trying to make anything happen. I’m just there moment to moment.
It’s like, I don’t know why nature designed us this way. It’s like, “I have a great idea. Let’s make a woman capable of the most outrageous, like universe bending, cosmic, orgasmic experiences ever, but we’re going to hide the key under her ability to just show up and be fully present inside of her own pussy and not strategize or think about the future or focus on orgasm and will make the key to the most amazing orgasms to not think about orgasms.”
White elephant, don’t think about the white elephant. Who knows why we got designed this way? But we did. So do it.
Tip number three, remember that you’re a goddess. Again, easier said than done, but maybe you can relate, right? I’m lying there and he’s going down on me and all of a sudden I’m like, “Oh, maybe there’s something wrong with me. Like maybe I smell. Maybe I’m not feeling enough pleasure. Maybe something’s wrong with our relationship.”
And then I tense up and go a little bit quiet.
And then he tenses up and goes a little bit quiet.
And I’m like, “Oh yeah. No, for sure. He’s not enjoying it down there. Like, this is not a good situation.” And I get even more tense and then he gets even more tense. And then we’re both freaked out. We’re in a cycle of tension and I’m like, “For sure, he’s not into this.”
And by then, he’s just like, I’m thinking that he’s like I’m not into this, but he’s really like, “Oh my god, why is she not having the most amazing time ever? I feel so insecure.”
And our insecurities are wound mating. And then we’re creating this downward spiral of self-judgment and contraction. And nobody’s saying anything and that’s how you have the worst sex ever.
Anyways, so you can do the opposite of that, which is like, instead of being like, “Oh, is it good enough? This and that?” Just being like, “Oh, wait, fucking goddess. This person is lucky to lick my vulva.”
You know how many people are going to get to lick your vulva in your lifetime out of like 7.8 billion humans on the planet? That is a sacred job. That person is lucky. And when you remember that and how beautiful you are, they’re only licking your pussy because they think you’re amazing.
So, remember that they want you to experience pleasure. Feel yourself as the beautiful queen that you are or royal sovereign. And what happens is your nervous system relaxes.
And then you start going into harmonic resonance, which means that when you’re relaxed and feeling yourself, the person going down on you starts relaxing and feeling themselves.
And they’re like, “Oh, she’s enjoying it. I must be amazing.” And you’re like, “I’m enjoying it. I’m a goddess. Oh, this person is amazing.” And you start upwards spiraling.
And instead of wound mating, you’re power mating, you’re confidence mating, you’re pleasure mating. And that means the more that you focus on all the things you want to feel internally, the more that your lover can feel confident and empowered too.
It’s easy to forget that your lover is maybe as insecure as you are, if not more deep down inside. So when you make yourself comfortable, which is like Space Holding 101.
I can’t make anybody comfortable if I’m all uncomfortable and freaked out, nobody’s going to feel comfortable in my space.
So when I make myself into a goddess, into a royal being, into a divine creature, what happens is the person going down on me gets to feel that energy field. And they start feeling like, “Oh, wow, I’m here with a goddess and oh, wow, she’s having an amazing time.” And then they get to relax and then you start upwards spiraling together. So when you create that seed and hold that space, it does so much for the experience and the more that you remember your goddess as well.
I found that this is another secret key to the most amazing orgasms, where again, the gods were like, “Let’s hide all these orgasm keys all over the place and we’ll make one of them that you don’t focus on orgasm as the goal.”
“We’ll make another one that if you focus on what your hair looks like, and if your boobs are too saggy, like you’re never going to have the orgasm of your dreams.”
But if you find the orgasm key, that’s like, “I’m a wonderful goddess.” That key unlocks so much ecstasy and pleasure. So you just want to go around like whew, finding all the orgasm keys and unlocking that ecstasy.
So if you’d like to learn the five holistic sex tools that I used to get out of my head into my body and to have the most epic sexual experiences ever, then go ahead and check out the Sacred Sexuality Starter Kit down below. It’ll guide you through each tool step by step. It’s totally free.
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And the next time you are getting your pussy licked, remember that you are a goddess.