You can be younger at 60 then you were at 30 because you've changed your attitude and your lifestyle.
- Dr. Northrup, Goddesses Never Age
On one hand, I see myself dancing with wild abandon in some crazy desert festival in my 90s, being sexy, desirable and fashionable until the day I die.
On the other hand – I’ll catch a brief glimpse of that deepening crow’s eye wrinkle in the mirror and feel a flash of anxiety… is it all over so soon?!?
I know you may also be struggling with aging – can you really still be sexy at any age? Can you really still love your body and feel stunningly radiant?
When I feel a little lost – I look to role models to remind me of what’s possible and when it comes to being an ageless Goddess, it’s Dr. Christiane Northrup who inspires me deeply.
This woman is a sexy, salsa dancing passionista – fierce, firey, successful and brilliant in her beauty – now in her 60s.
So, I caught up with her today to get some of her best advice for us on feeling sexy in the bedroom at any age and shaking off that fear that it “just might be too late…”
LM: There is a part of me that really believes that aging can be sexy and graceful, but then there is another part of me that rolls my eyes and is like, “Yeah, right, it’s a totally lame process and it ain’t sexy!” What would you say to that disbelieving part of me?
CN: I would flirt with that “old lady” who probably lives within each of us! Tell her how cute she is – how adorable. Dance around her. And do the following ritual: Light a candle in your bedroom or bathroom – wherever there is a mirror. Put on some sensual music. Slowly take off your clothes. And gaze into the mirror. With a soft gaze. Notice your skin. See how it glows. Send love to the areas of your body that you haven’t yet accepted.
Notice how these areas change and begin to look different. They become younger! And then ask the Goddess within to become alive in you. Ask her to take over your body, mind, and spirit. Offer your angst about “aging” to your Higher Power – that part of you that is ageless and timeless. And remember who you really are – an ageless eternal being. You can use a Tosha Silver Change Me prayer such as “Divine Beloved, please change me into someone who feels ageless and timeless and marvelously sexy.”
LM: I’ve noticed when it comes to menopause that a lot of women view the hormonal changes like a death sentence to their sexual drive and vivacity. What do you recommend as an empowering and effective way to relate to the hormonal changes associated with aging?
CN: The most important thing for women to know is that their hormones don’t disappear after menopause. They simply return to the levels at which they were before you got your period. But – and this is a big but – a diet that elevates blood sugar and insulin levels will wreak havoc with hormones. And that is the problem many women face at menopause.
Also, menopause is a potent cultural portal. One that is full of meaning. And a woman’s experience is far more about what we’ve been taught to expect than it is a biological reality. And it is also a potent time of rebirth for one’s soul. That’s why everything that isn’t in sync with one’s true self will begin to come up at menopause so it can be examined in the light of day and released.
That said, I highly recommend an amazing herb from Thailand called Pueraria mirifica, which is a Godsend for menopausal symptoms. I started a company to bring this herb and its many benefits to women everywhere. Check out www.a-ma-ta.com
LM: When our culture blares loud and clear that sexy = young, what do you recommend in order to celebrate the sexiness of being an older woman in the bedroom?
CN: I recommend looking for and celebrating sexy older women whenever you see one. I started a Pinterest board called Ageless Goddess. Go over there and check out how many unbelievable gorgeous sexy women there are. To name a few: Helen Mirren – the current face of L’Oreal – Meryl Streep – talk about ageless. There is also the inimitable Tina Turner, who married a glorious, much younger man when she was 73. And also read the amazing research of Betsy Prioleau in her book Seductress – particularly the chapter on Silver Foxes. Believe me, sexual attractiveness has nothing to do with age. It has everything to do with how much Divine life force you are allowing into your body.
LM: Later in life a lot of women go through massive changes, such as divorce, sexual awakening, or spiritual awakening, and realize the importance of sexual fulfillment in their lives. A big fear that comes up is, “Maybe it’s just too late for me to really find pleasure?” What would you say to that?
CN: I just LOVE that question. That particular fear within me was the impetus for doing all the inner work that led me to write Goddesses Never Age. I didn’t want the mainstream cultural story about women over age 50 to apply to me. Understanding the Law of Attraction and also the strength of the mind-body connection, I set out to prove the culture wrong – and create a new experience for myself.
So now, years later, I feel younger, sexier, more flexible, and more optimistic than I ever was in my younger years. It’s a real miracle. And guess what? This was all an inside job. It was not about winning the lottery, finding the right man, the right job, the right house, etc. It all happened by opening myself up to the Divine Feminine, including my own sexuality. I had to learn how to feel more. To receive more. To make love with the world – which is the essence of tantra.
I also had to learn how to surrender to the lead of a man – which happened by learning Argentine tango – and to heal my childhood broken heart – which came from abandoning myself trying to heal my mother. Healing childhood wounds – which live in our body’s connective tissue – is a big part of becoming ageless. Unhealed childhood wounds are like ticking time bombs in our bodies. That unhealed inner child too often runs our endocrine, immune, and central nervous systems. My three “big books,” Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, The Wisdom of Menopause, and Mother-Daughter Wisdom, are all about how you do this!
Mario Martinez’s research on healthy centenarians on five continents shows that they all share similar characteristics. My favorite is “They hate being around old people,” many of whom are 30 years younger. So, take a tip from the centenarians. Age proof yourself by noticing when you start saying “At my age it’s too late to … [fill in the blank].” Indeed ageism is rampant in our culture. And the only way to change that is to simply stop participating in it!
LM: So lady, if you are super inspired and want to learn more, Dr. Northrup has just released an awesome book called, Goddesses Never Age which you can get here. I’m a proud sponsor of this book because I believe it is such an important message and because Dr. Northrup rocks. I’ve already got it on my Kindle and I’ve been reading it by the pool this morning!
This information is not intended to treat, diagnose, cure, or prevent any disease. All material in this article is provided for educational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you have regarding a medical condition, and before undertaking any diet, exercise, or other health program.
© Christiane Northrup, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.
Christiane Northrup, M.D., is an ob/gyn physician, the New York Times bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause, and a leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness. After spending decades transforming women’s understanding of their sacred bodies and processes, Dr. Northrup now teaches women to embrace a new mindset and thrive at every stage of life in Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality, and Well-being (February 2015, Hay House). She is also thrilled with her new company A-ma-ta, derived from “ageless” and “eternal,” and devoted to creating and distributing products to support ageless goddesses everywhere. Don’t miss Dr. Northrup’s cutting-edge information. Follow her at www.drnorthrup.com, on Facebook, Twitter, and her Internet radio show Flourish!