I’m writing you today for the first time ever instead of Layla because I wanted to share something super important with you.
The topic for this week’s video is very close to my heart and is a huge part of my relationship with Layla.
It’s all about sexual healing.
Layla suffered some pretty major sexual trauma when she was younger, and I’m so proud of how much she has done and continues to do to heal it!
A few years ago (before I met Layla) if you had asked me about sexual healing I would have told you that it sounded miserable, depressing and definitely not something I’d be excited about doing or learning.
To be honest I really didn’t know much about it…beyond the sexy Marvin Gaye song, of course.
I certainly didn’t know how beautiful and empowering an experience it could be to help sexually heal your partner.
Or how many women actually suffer from sexual trauma in the form of pain or numbness from things such as religious guilt or negative messages they received about their bodies growing up.
In this weeks video Layla takes you through a beautiful process called de-armoring (it’s a lot softer than it sounds) for sexually healing a woman.
It’s seriously powerful and transformative stuff both for the receiver and the giver.
I’d love for you to check it out below.
Happy Healing!
Transcript:
Sexual Healing – The most beautiful sexual technique that most people don’t even know exists.
[music] Baby, I’m hot just like an oven. I need some loving and, Baby, I can’t hold it much longer. It’s getting stronger and stronger. And when I get that feeling, I want sexual healing, healing, healing good for healing is something that’s good for me.
So if your lover experiences pain or numbness during sex, it can be incredibly frustrating or even scary if you don’t know what to do to help support and guide her through it. So there are many, many sexual healing tools available, but one of the most powerful and most simple is called de-armoring.
It’s a several step process that you can do to help your lover release negativity around sex, trauma, pain, shame, and guilt, and restore her body to ultimate pleasure.
So I’m gonna share with you in this video, how you can do the de-armoring process with your lover.
I’m Layla Martin. This is the place to be. If you wanna experience epic sex, legendary love and sexual healing.
So what is sexual trauma? It can be things like rape or sexual abuse, but it can even show up in sex negative belief systems. So if your lover got told that sex is a sin or that sex is dirty, or that she’ll be a slut, if you expresses herself fully, sexually, all of that can actually traumatize the body.
Now, how does sexual trauma stay in the body? How does it get stuck in the body? When you have healthy, alive, active tissue, sexual energy can freely flow through it and you’ll feel a pleasure if you are touched there in a pleasurable way. When you experience sexual trauma, either through negative belief systems or a violent sexual act there’s tension that gets created in the body.
So on spots in the body where there’s tension, they’ll become a buildup of pressure. And when that spot is touched, you’re actually going to feel pain or numbness, instead of pleasure.
One of the most common spots in a woman’s body where this happens is actually in the cervix. So the cervix is a spot where tremendous sexual pleasure can occur, where some of a woman’s deepest, most potent orgasms can be sourced, but a lot of women actually hold some form of sexual trauma in the cervix.
And so the cervix becomes either numb or painful when it gets hit during intercourse or with a finger. So de-armoring is a process that can actually take these tension filled areas that are numb or full of pain or hold onto old emotions and actually help them release.
Some other common sexual areas in a woman’s body that can suffer from this level of tension and then shut down and pain and can also really respond well to de-armoring are the G-spot, the deep vagina, the entrance to the vagina and even the clitoris, but any part really on anyone’s body can be healed through this de-armoring process.
So I’m now gonna take you through the steps.
The first step is communication. So you either want to let your lover know before you even go into the bedroom that you wanna start practicing this de-armoring technique. You want to let her know what the steps are and what you’re going to do so she’s ready.
Or when you’re already making love. If you sense that your lover is shutting down, she’s in pain, maybe she’s gone numb, or maybe she’s disassociated and checked out.
You can say, “Hey, would you like to really bring your awareness and try this de-armoring technique? I may be able to support you in releasing whatever it is that you’re feeling.”
If you get a yes and it’s okay with her, then it’s good to proceed with the technique.
Step two, you’re going to apply pressure. So if she said yes and agreed to doing the de-armoring technique with you, wherever she’s experiencing pain or numbness or tension, you’re going to apply slow, but gentle pressure with either your penis, your finger, or a dildo.
Step three, hold it there firmly and then you’re going to encourage her to express with her body and especially to sound anything that she’s experiencing or feeling in that spot.
Now you wanna really draw her awareness into the place where you’re applying pressure and really invite her to express anything that organically arises.
Number four, allow her to express herself completely. So this may be with her body. She may be thrashing around. She may curl up into fear. It should definitely be with her voice. She might scream or cry.
Now, no matter what she does, the important thing is that you stay with her, providing her a safe container to totally let go and express.
If she asks you to stop, you always wanna honor her boundaries. Let her say no, if she needs to. But if she doesn’t ask you to stop, you’re going to continue the pressure and never let go, never back off, never quickly move away.
You want to instead give her the embodied feeling that you are a hundred percent there with her, no matter what she expresses.
Number five, keep creating a safe container. So you’re gonna keep encouraging her to express. Keep letting her know that it’s totally okay. Keep bringing the deepest level of awareness and consciousness you possibly can to this situation.
She’ll be able to feel that naturally in you she’ll be able to sense the safety that’s there for her, and therefore be able to go even deeper into the process.
Number six, you’re gonna sense when she’s complete. So you’ll feel when she’s expressed what she needs to express, and then you’re gonna feel into what she needs next.
You may return to love making. You may just wanna cuddle her. She may need some space to herself. And if you really can’t tell, you can always check in and just ask her, what do you need right now?
Number seven, repeat as needed. So sometimes you’ll have to de-armor the same spot again and again, in order to get lasting results. Other times with just one de-armoring session, the tension is gone, never to come back, but it will change woman to woman spot to spot day to day.
If the idea of going deep into sexual healing with your partner excites you. If you know this is a journey that the two of you could really go into together, it’s one of the most intimate, vulnerable, and actually beautiful things that you can do with another human being.
I share lots of deep sexual healing techniques and tools in my upcoming course, epic lovers. If you’re interested in that, you can click here in the comments section below. Let me know. How do you think sexual healing with your lover could change your sex life and your relationship.
If you really love this content and you want access to more exclusive things that I share only via email head on over to Laylamartin.com, sign up with your email address so we can stay connected.
I’d love it if you would share this on a Facebook beloved, this is a message and a tool that can truly help so many people. And thank you so much for being here. Healing from sexual abuse and trauma has been one of the greatest journeys that I’ve taken. And it’s truly a pleasure to be able to share these techniques with you and your lover.
You can subscribe to the YouTube channel. If you want to learn more about sexual healing, check out this video and for more incredible sex with your lover, you can check out this video.