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9 steps to exquisite gushing / squirting orgasms – Layla Martin

Written by Layla Martin | Jun 14, 2018 7:00:00 AM

There is an exquisite, undeniable beauty in your body.

I’ve just spent a month in the jungle working with the women in my one-year program…

And I’m still in humbled awe at what is possible.

How each woman carries a wellspring of magic and joy within her.

One thing I LOVE is female ejaculation (aka gushing or squirting orgasms).

Because they combine the deep surrender of release with the awesome empowerment of pleasure.

Understanding female ejaculation is super important if you want to learn how to do it.

But also because an estimated 60% of women are stopping their full orgasm during sex…

because they would normally ejaculate and are ashamed or afraid to do so, so they shut down their natural response.

Celebrating, encouraging, and empowering this amazing part of a woman’s sexuality is so key…

So I’ve made you a beautiful video (in a hot pink wizard robe) to show you exactly how to do that.

Also a fun mystical fact in Tantra, female ejaculate is called “amrita” aka “nectar of the gods.”

I’ve always enjoyed the idea that somewhere on this planet…

an enlightened female master shot her amrita into the face of her devoted male lover and he so became enlightened.

Because the universe is both laughing with us and loving us so hard.

Discover the 9 steps to exquisite gushing orgasms below.

 

Let me know in the comments section anything else that supports you or your lover to experience this beautiful process.

Transcript:

9 Steps To Exquisite Gushing

I was like, what shall I wear to speak to the world about female ejaculation? The pussy wizard robe, obviously. So I’m really excited to talk to you about female ejaculation in my future robe because this is a topic that I am passionate about, but growing even more passionate about by the day because I can see how much it actually affects most women’s experience of masturbation and sex.

Let me explain to you why.

So Deborah Sundahl is basically the female ejaculation guru. I love her book. I’ll link to it down below. If you want to learn everything about female ejaculation, highly recommend it. So she’s talking about in her workshops she asked the question, “How many of you feel like you have to pee during sex and you actually stop to go to the toilet?” And about 30% of women raise their hands.

And she said, “How many of you feel like you have to pee during sex but you basically just wait it out?” and about another 30% of women raise their hands.

And so she is estimating based on her work that about 60% of women’s bodies are wanting to female ejaculate and they’re not allowing it to happen because they feel like they’re going to pee themselves.

Now I’ve seen the exact same thing in all of my courses. So I talk to hundreds, sometimes thousands of women on a regular basis about their sexual experiences, and I have seen the same thing over and over again, women saying, I always need to pee during sex, or I get really turned on and then I feel like I need to pee, so I stop. I don’t let myself orgasm. I don’t let myself let go. And I clench really tightly because I’d be embarrassed if I let go and pee.

So when I coach these women and they start relaxing and opening up and being open to the experience of female ejaculation, they start having massive experiences of orgasm, surrender, and pleasure that they weren’t having before because their fear was keeping them shut down.

So I’m so excited to share with you this process that is going to allow you to either understand the steps that can invite you into female ejaculation, or if you are going to offer a woman this experience, it will guide you step by step in how to open her up to this incredible opportunity, let’s call it, inside of her body.

So the first step is to walk her step by step through the process. So the thing about female ejaculation is it requires a deep surrender, a deep release, and a deep sense of ease and comfort in the body. And so you’ll really set her up for that if you let her know, I want to offer you this delicious experience, I’m going to do these following things, I’m going to touch you in the following ways, and more than anything else, let her know that you’re not expecting anything of her. You’re simply setting up and creating an environment where she can surrender super deeply into whatever happens.

One of the things that really bothers me is when people try and show off that they can make a woman ejaculate, or it’s like she feels like she has to. Everything that a woman can do so beautifully and magnificently always seems to get co-opted in the weirdest ways and these egoic ways. So let’s not do that with female ejaculation. Let her know that it’s an invitation. It’s a supportive and beautiful environment where her body can do whatever it wants.

Step two, you want to set her at ease. So as I’ve already discussed, what holds most women back from entering their ability to ejaculate fully is a fear that they’re going to pee. So you can imagine how scary this could be to her. No one wants to pee over their partner during sex or no one wants to pee over the bed or their partner’s hand during a sexual experience, so a lot of women have built up a lot of apprehension around this. Now the reason she starts to feel like she needs to pee is because she has a lot of erectile tissue in her prostate, which is her G-spot and it swells and puts pressure on her bladder. Also as the Skene’s glands and the prostatic fluid, which is female ejaculate starts to build, that also puts pressure on her bladder, so she’s going to feel like she needs to pee, but actually, it won’t be pee that comes out.

So what you want to do is you want to put her at ease by having the conversation and letting her know number one, she could pee ahead of time. So that actually puts a lot of women at ease to know that they’ve emptied their bladder, so if they feel like they need to pee, they know that actually something else is going on. Number two, even if she did pee all over the place, you’re going to celebrate it. It’s totally okay.

So you can actually say to her, look, we’re going to experiment with this. I’m going to invite you to fully surrender. And if you happen to pee all over my hand, so what, like we’ll have a great time together. You can put down a towel or a yoga mat, something that can collect the fluid, and you can also put her at ease by saying, look, there’s no expectations. There’s no pressure. Let’s just have a really great time and see what happens. And you can also ask her what are her desires? What does she need to feel safe? What will help put her at ease? But this overall sense of, baby, it’s okay, you can totally let go and if you urinate all over the place, so be it, kind of thing. And then that gives her the confidence to fully surrender and she can see for herself that she’s not peeing, she’s actually ejaculating.

Step number three is you really want to warm up her body with a sensual massage. So none of this will happen if she’s not super turned on, so you want to let her drop into it with lots of long strokes, lots of kisses, lots of massaging of her inner thighs, her belly, her breasts, over her vulva. Things like that will allow her to really relax and drop into the experience.

Step four, you want to give her a pussy massage and specifically a vulva and a clitoris massage until she feels super turned on. So you can use the strokes you know that she loves, you can really take your time and go slow, and you can even kind of tease her, building up her turn on and then slowing down and then building up her turn on and then slowing down so she’s really like …

Step five, you are going to insert your two fingers to begin to stroke her G-spot. So the way that you want to do this is with one hand, you want to continue to stimulate her vulva and her clitoris in the way that she loves. So you could either use your palm doing circles, you could use your fingers, whatever kind of stroke usually really gets her turned on. When she’s feeling really turned on and receptive, you can ask her if it’s okay to enter her, or you can place your two fingers at the entrance to her vagina and see if her vagina pulls you in. So you really want to be listening to her body. If her body is saying no or she’s tense, you can actually ask her what’s going on for you, how are you feeling right now? Because that mental state is super important.

So you don’t want to push your fingers in. You want to wait until she invites you and even pulls you in. If that’s not happening, then keep talking to her, working with her body, massaging until you feel that invitation inside.

Step six, you’re going to start to feel for her G-spot. So her G-spot is a point on the vaginal wall facing towards her belly. And in about 93% of women, it feels ribbed or ridged. And in 7% of women, there’s no ribbing or ridging, it’s just smooth. It’s actually her prostate sticking out into the vaginal wall. So you’re looking for something that feels slightly bumpy, slightly protruding, and she needs to be very turned on for you to even be able to feel this. Now with the pads of your fingers, you’re going to locate it and you’re going to feel what feels exquisite to her.

Step seven, you’re going to begin to stimulate her G-spot. So something that works for a lot of women is just gentle stroking in and out with the fingers. Don’t start too intensely. You want to start slow and firm and build up the intensity as long as she’s feeling it. So the quickest way to short-circuit this process is by going too hard and too fast. Like if you take your cue from porn, you can actually numb out her body by overwhelming her by pushing too hard or inserting too quickly. What you want to do is go slow and firm and continue to touch her vulva and her clitoris and feel her turn on building and building.

As she gets turned on, for most women, she will be desiring stronger pressure and deeper thrusting, but you’ll have to feel into it because every woman is different, every moment is different. And really kind of notice what’s working for her body, but you want to be feeling for deeper and deeper turn on. So you want to make sure that she is lubricated inside, so either that she’s naturally wet or you can use water-based lube because the G-spot can get irritated if you’re doing this kind of deep massage and deep stimulation if there’s not enough lubrication there.

Step number eight, so as you’re stroking her G-spot back and forth, you’re going to encourage her to breathe, feel, sound, and relax. So you’re going to be encouraging her to inhale and to feel her G-spot, what’s going on, her pleasure, and to sound what she’s feeling. So you can encourage her to sound by saying things like, “Let it go. Go ahead, you’re safe to sound. I’d love to hear you express how you’re feeling.” You can encourage her to relax. Now the breathing will help open her whole body. The feeling will help intensify the sensation. The sounding will help her relax her pelvic floor and release. And encouraging her to relax will also help her to relax her pelvic floor and her G-spot, which is essential for the ejaculate to release.

Step nine is to then follow what works for her body. So for some women, it works very well if you’re massaging with a cupped hand over her clitoris because it helps put a little pressure on the area which can help with the ejaculate release. For a lot of women, it will work to curl your fingers almost like you’re encouraging the G-spot and you can feel like you’re almost stroking the liquid, inviting the liquid to release from her body. Sometimes a bit of a rocking motion can help as well. And one of the things for her is that she wants to push sometimes also while relaxing. So sometimes the ejaculate doesn’t come out unless she pushes, but she needs to be relaxed at the same time because if she’s very tense, then the liquid will stay in even if she tries to push. And for some women, if they don’t push the ejaculate doesn’t free itself, basically. So it’s a totally relaxed push, somewhat similar to giving birth.

A couple of things that keep in mind about this is every woman experiences ejaculation differently. For some women, it’s this huge feeling of release. For other women, it’s incredibly orgasmic. For other women, it’s like, eh, I just ejaculated. So let her have her own personal experience. And once she learns to ejaculate this way, which is usually the easiest way, she’ll grow in confidence and she can actually ejaculate during intercourse, which is really beautiful and exciting. So in the tantric tradition, female ejaculate is called amrita, the nectar of the gods. It’s considered this concentrated elixir of magic and energy, and it is the highest blessing to be showered in female amrita all over your body. For those of you who love science and are less prone to poetry, female ejaculate is prostatic fluid combined with glucose and just a tiny bit of urine. But personally, I like thinking of it as the elixir of magic and the gods.

I Am Pussy Wizard!