At the age of 13, I announced to my parents in suburban Colorado that I was changing religions.
I was no longer Catholic: I was now a Hindu who worshipped Ganesh and Krishna.
(They seemed reasonably open to this, but the other kids at my school thought I was insane.)
I went to India and Nepal at the age of 15 and accidentally tattooed the “OM” symbol on my upper back.
I say accidentally because I had no idea what it meant, I just felt drawn to it.
(I later felt “embarrassed” that I’d done that – how cliche!! But other times, I felt like I knew exactly what I was doing…remembering…)
When I was 18, I went straight back to India and knew in my bones that my life purpose was Tantra.
I had no idea what the hell that really meant…but I knew it was what I was here to do.
Now…my parents are not mystical.
No one in my life went to Asia.
I well and truly was a girl from the suburbs of the suburbs and I’m actually really glad I didn’t ask myself too many questions…
I just put one foot in front of the other and kept saying “yes.”
I said yes for another fifteen years…and will keep saying yes for the rest of my life…and I’m grateful for every moment…
I’m sharing this with you because in classical Tantra, when it is time to wake up…
you get called.
It’s kinda like getting bopped on the third eye with an undeniable desire to change your whole life…
It’s like being drawn to the light…and the truth…and the depth within everything.
And sometimes you get a huge calling…
(Like it’s time to find that teacher.)
And sometimes you get a smaller calling…
(Like it’s SO time I finally read that book!)
But a calling is a calling.
I made this video to show you some of the signs when you get called.
(And it’s a little tongue in cheek because there are literally infinite ways to get called!!)
Find out if you’re ready for tantra below 😉
P.S. There are a lot more conversations happening now about how to interact with a different culture and religion in ways that are respectful and honoring – which is amazing.
I want to say that my respect and gratitude for India’s mystical heritage goes far beyond words and very often to tears of deepest appreciation.
I didn’t start connecting to Indian deities because I thought they were cool:
I literally felt their divinity and my depth of natural devotion to them was overpowering.
And, in the tradition I feel most drawn to, Kashmir Shaivism, the sentiment is to teach all who are worthy – no matter their background.
I have the deepest gratitude for the founding teachers and the generations of Indian masters who recognized that the wisdom they embodied didn’t flow based on something like culture, gender or religious background – but based on the readiness of the recipient.
And…that they left the door open for this suburban kid from Colorado to light up inside when the timing was right.
Each tradition is different in how it approaches intimation – and I believe that the intention of the tradition in this respect matters – and this form of Tantra is one that embraces initiation of everyone who is genuinely called.
So if you feel the call…put one foot in front of the other…and say “yes.”
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