Have you made fingering mistakes like Breaking and Entering?
The Porno Jack-Hammer?
Or The One Finger Fairy?
If you want to be sure you’re not making any one of these fingering mistakes that women absolutely HATE…
And you want to learn the most pleasurable ways to touch a pussy…
Then check out this week’s video on the 4 Most Delicious Ways to Finger a Pussy!
Also… ‘Fingering’ …what a horrid word
Pleaseeee for the love of god…
Can we come up with a better name for fingering?
Let me know what you come up with when you watch this week’s video below!
Get your FREE Pussy Massage Guide here
Transcript:
So I think fingering is one of the most underappreciated bedroom arts. But when it’s fabulous, it’s like a raptor that comes in from the side and just like, “Oh, it’s so good.”
But what if you’re making one of these fingering mistakes that women absolutely hate?
Breaking and entering where you don’t ask for consent and where you go straight for just putting your fingers inside someone’s vagina, they fucking hate that. Don’t ever do that.
Or maybe the porno jackhammer which is too deep, too hard and too fast, where your pussy has no other choice than to totally shut down and go numb trying to block out the intensity of the experience.
Or the one finger fairy, where you’re just kind of tracing and lolly gagging and poking and irritating the shit out of my body.
I also think one major mistake we’re making is calling it fingering, what a horrific word. So we were talking about it and you wouldn’t call going down on someone tonguing them and you wouldn’t call fucking someone dicking them so why do we call it fingering?
So if you have a better idea for fingering, please go ahead and pop it in the comments below. What should we call it instead that sounds like something that you would want to experience rather than something that’s like a forced medical procedure? And we could call it finger lingus.
And if you want to give or experience the most incredible pussy massage in the whole world, you can go ahead and check out a free download below which will guide you step by step through the most ecstatic pussy massage that you can give or receive. It’s absolutely free.
Remember to go ahead and subscribe to the YouTube channel. And I’m going to walk you through four steps right now that will make your fingering the dopest possible. So while fingering is one of the hottest, sexiest, most fun things that you can engage in that is legal in most states, one of the things that you want to make sure of is that fingering happens after lots of warmup. Because think of the vagina as having a lot of erectile tissue because it does and so it’s like touching a flacid penis. If you touch a flacid penis, it’s not that comfortable.
But think about if you touched a flacid penis, the way that you would when a penis was rock hard so going really hard and fast and it’s dry, it would hurt. It would be uncomfortable, you’d be like, “Ugh.” Too many people do that with pussies. They don’t understand that for it to feel really good you need to be very warmed up and very turned on so do what you’ve got to do. Really sensually kissing, dry humping, all kinds of heavy petting really works so that pussy is good and purring and ready for those fingers.
So step one is finger the vulva. So the vulva are all the external parts so these are the outer lips and the inner lips. And it feels really delicious with lube or body friendly oil to stroke your fingers and palms up and down over the vulva. Or you can do circles with your palm or your fingers right over the entrance to her vagina.
This can feel so amazing and when you start slower and more subtle, the warmup, it has longer to turn into a big fire. So think like this, it doesn’t need to feel ragingly hot right away but more like sensual, exquisite touch that starts to build the pleasure over time.
Step two is to finger the external clitoris so this is the gland of the clitoris, that part, right at the top of the vulva that you tend to think of as the clitoris but the clitoris actually, extends very deep. It’s a much bigger structure than a lot of people understand.
So you can start at this really sensitive part of her clitoris and it’s really important to understand what your partner loves. So if this is the first time that you’re touching her, you can actually ask, “What is the way that feels most amazing to you to be touched?” And you can ask her questions like, “Does this feel amazing? Is this working for you? Would you like anything different?”
So you don’t want to over ask questions and put her into her head or take her out of the moment but really just letting her know that you’re open to feedback or direction or asking one or two simple questions can go a long way to helping her feel supported and relaxed. And if she likes something really unique, it gives her the opportunity to tell you exactly what it is that she likes.
So the most popular clitoral strokes that feel the best for most women are a side to side stroke. And again, it really depends on her whether one finger works or two to three fingers because some women prefer a kind of lighter, more feathery touch which is one finger and some women prefer a more firm, almost like grounded touch which is more like two or three fingers going side to side or moving in circles.
So you can do circles with the Palm of your hand, again with one finger, two fingers or three fingers. And you can also make this fun by saying, “Hey, I’m going to explore for a little bit and tell me if you love it.”
Once you figure out exactly what feels best for her, the key to expanding her pleasure and having the most exquisite fingering experience is to usually, stay slow and steady. So if you go too hard, too fast, what happens is you overstimulate the sensitive nerve endings which causes them to shut down and she’ll go numb.
And this is often when women feel motivated to fake it because they’re actually not feeling that much but you’re trying so hard. You also don’t want to go too soft because that can be irritating or almost annoying. But when you find that sweet spot, the inclination sometimes can be to speed up but really the key and the trick here is to stay very consistent with consistent pressure and consistent speed.
And only at the very end when she’s really in the throes of passion, would you speed up and go harder.
And again, always tune into her body. If she’s moaning, if she’s moving, this is a really good sign. If she goes silent, you often want to check in and see what’s going on.
Step three is that you can really use the power of your thumb. So this is an underappreciated fingering skill that I have found brings so much delight which is that you can take your thumb and place it right at the entrance to her vagina. So not deep inside but just nestled right inside. Now, you don’t want it just between the lips. You want it actually, connecting to her pelvic floor or else it’s not going to feel that amazing.
But you don’t want to push your thumb inside. Instead, you want to find right at the very entrance to her vagina and rest your thumb there. And you can do light pulsations of your thumb or move it back to back. And this often feels exquisite because the clitoral legs wrap around the entrance to the vagina. So you’ll be stimulating the clitoral legs in the most direct, most luscious way if you combine this thumb movement with continuing to stimulate the gland of her clitoris with your other hand. Step four is combining the clitoris and the G spot. So once you’ve been stimulating her for a long period of time, you can invite her into a blended orgasm experience. So you always want to ask, unless she tells you otherwise that it’s not her preference, if you can put your fingers inside of her.
So this is really sexy. So if you whisper something like, “Can I place my fingers inside of you?” Or “This is feeling so delicious right now, would it be okay for me to slip my fingers inside of you?” You’re inviting her body to say yes to penetration. When that happens, the body will often be so much more receptive and the turn on will get even stronger.
Now, if she’s your long term lover and she doesn’t want you to ask all the time, that’s totally fine. But if she’s new or that’s her preference then ask every single time and just see how much more intense the pleasure can be when you practice escalating consent. If she says, yes, you can continue to stroke her clitoris with one hand and then slip one or two or sometimes even three fingers inside of her vagina very slowly. So again, slow is the key.
The biggest mistake that people make with fingering again is overstimulation too hard, too fast. When anything goes too hard, too fast, think of it like a massage, your body contracts. If a massage therapist goes in with their thumb really deep, right under your shoulder blade, you’re going to go, “Ugh.” And you actually contract and lose sensation and lose relaxation.
So when you go slow and when you go slower than you think you should just like a rhythmic massage, opens your body and again, even a deep tissue masseuse, isn’t going to go right for their deepest tissue massage right in the first minute of your massage, they’re going to open your body. They’re going to relax you first and then they’re going to build that pressure so they can go deep but they’re often still going to be going slow.
Think of fingering in the exact same way. So you’re going to very slowly bring your fingers into her vagina, you can locate the G-spot which is on the part of her vagina that faces towards her belly, not towards her spine. And this is usually right at the entrance of the vagina or up to an inch or even two inches inside and you feel it as a protruding wall.
So it’s almost like a walnut or that ribbed feeling at the top, the roof of your mouth. And you can stroke here and often the G-spot can feel numb or there can be uncomfortable sensations if she’s never been fingered here or she hasn’t released before.
So if she doesn’t feel that much, encourage her to breathe and feel and continue to finger as long as it feels okay for her. And you can build pressure and intensity as you stroke in and out over the G-spot. And usually it feels the most amazing if you continue to stroke over the gland of her clitoris at the exact same time. And this is what can create some of the most exquisite and deep orgasms and often doing this technique is going to take her out of her “every day” clitoral orgasm because she can touch herself but very few women create this blended experience of the G-spot plus the clitoris on their own.
So you’re taking her somewhere that she often doesn’t go herself which is one of the exquisite things about having a lover. So if you want to take your pussy skills and your fingering skills to the next level, I have included my pussy massage guide down below. It’s totally free. Then go ahead and click on it and add your email address and you’ll get it right away. And this helps you to take fingering all the way to a transcendental next level experience.
So one of my friends, he’s this Australian dude, he was telling me, he’s famous and hot and all this and he was like, “I just do pussy massage for my first date and it is always the most mind blowing thing that she has ever experienced,” that I’m like damn right. So if you want to be able to offer that or receive that, go ahead and check out the Pussy Massage Guide down below.
Remember to subscribe to the YouTube channel and please for the love of God, come up with a better name than fingering and tell me in the comments.
Get your FREE Pussy Massage Guide here
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