Yeah…I didn’t masturbate for 13 whole years.
That sounds completely crazy as I write it.
All that exquisite pleasure I denied myself.
Why?
Plain and simple…
I was so ashamed that I stopped.
It all started when I was just 6 years old…
and I vowed to NEVER EVER masturbate again
because I got the message it was dirty and wrong.
Discover the full story in the video below…
and why self-pleasuring is so essential for a healthy & happy life.
Most people I talk to still feel some sort of shame around masturbation.
Ranging from deep religious shame…
or just embarrassment that they get from their friends…
to a shyness self-pleasuring in front of their partner…
a feeling like it’s something to be done in secret…
certainly not something to be celebrated
(or to make a youtube video about 😉 ).
Well, all these years later I’m here to celebrate masturbation…
And sing its praises all over the internet.
This is part of my regular #IAmNotAshamed series…
where I take a topic that people are usually too embarrassed to talk about
and I speak about it publicly
and personally.
Because shame stays in place when people stay silent…
and hearing about it openly takes the shame away.
Each of these videos has been challenging for me to make…
because you’re not supposed to talk about masturbation,
especially not your own
…and still be taken seriously.
Or your own sexual abuse or STDs…
But I feel like real change is social change
and these things only change when we have conversations about them…
out in the open.
And take on a new model of leadership where you can be all parts of yourself…
and still be a leader
and still be respected.
Here’s to the new world we’re creating together!!
Transcript:
I didn’t masturbate for 13 years…here’s why
So I wanted to talk to you about how I love masturbating and this is a really intense video for me to make because I started masturbating when I was like two or three. They actually say babies masturbate in utero. So it’s really common for babies and little kids to touch themselves.
But I love touching myself everywhere. I liked masturbating on the plane. I liked masturbating when I was over at my friend’s house. I just, all I wanted to do was touch myself and feel exquisite, exquisite pleasure. And, my parents bless them, tried to talk to me about it and tell me about it. And I just didn’t get it. I was really young. And so they started spanking me and punishing me and threatening me every single time I touched myself. So I internalized that it was really bad that I was letting my parents down, that I was something dangerous.
So when I was about six years old, I made a commitment to myself that I would never touch myself again. I would never masturbate again and I remember that. And so I didn’t masturbate again all the way until I was 19. And I found a book on Taoist practices and how to circulate energy. And I remember sitting alone in my room and just masturbating and like orgasm after orgasm, after orgasm, I was like, oh my God, like how, how did I miss this? Oh, wow.
And so it’s interesting because I’ve had such a split relationship to masturbation that on one hand, it’s always been so beautiful and so exquisite and such a wonderful connection to my body. And still, you know, I’ve done a lot of work on it, but there’s still this sense of shame or wrongness or punishment associated with it.
And I’ve had so many stories from people, people writing all the time of, you know, their grandmother beating them with a broom when she found them masturbating, getting screamed at by adults, getting shamed. And so a lot of people carry really deep either strong trauma around masturbation or just that subtle sense that there’s something wrong or naughty or you wouldn’t wanna get caught.
And so I wanted to make this video and proclaim to the world about how I love masturbating. I love touching myself. I love having a series of pleasure-filled orgasmic experiences that are just my own. As much as I love sex with my partner, I also really value that time with myself, with my own body.
And in masturbating, I discover things about myself. I have creative ideas. I’ve had loads of business ideas. I probably engaged with something that came from inspiration when I was masturbating. And I love that aspect of it. I feel empowered. I feel turned on and it’s so valuable to know that I can experience pleasure and aliveness and sexiness with, or without a partner.
Science shows that people who masturbate are healthier, happier. It staves off depression, all kinds of stuff. And if there was a pill that did that, oh my God, it’d be all over Facebook. It’d be all over the news. People would be going crazy about it, but because it’s your hands down your pants or with your pants off on your genitals and it involves sexuality, there’s all this hiddenness and shame around it. I just wanna bust that and say, masturbation is fucking awesome.
It’s fucking awesome. And everyone should do it. We should celebrate it. We should totally celebrate children when they do it, give them healthy boundaries, teach them where to do it, but show them how amazing and beautiful it is. And in our relationships, celebrate it, celebrate it in our partners and just really own it. So there you go. I love masturbating.
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