I know that subject heading sounds gimmicky, right along with “take this pill and you’ll always be happy” or “stroke me like this and I’ll never leave you.”
But this practice I’m sharing will create a space for you to speak your truth to the person you want to fall in love with.
Now, that might sound super scary, especially if your truth is a hard one.
But I’m a big believer in the idea that if we always spoke the truth to one another, we’d always be in love.
I don’t mean the little truths like, “your shoes are cool” or “thank you for making the bed.”
I mean the real truths.
“I’m afraid you don’t find me attractive anymore.”
“What I truly desire is for us to have a child.”
“I’m terrified that we’ll stop making love as we grow older.”
“What I really, really want is to feel you hold me while I sob uncontrollably.”
“I love the way you whisper when you get really excited about something.”
You know. Those truths.
I first learned this ‘fears, desires and loves’ exercise in a workshop taught by Shashi Solluna, one of my early mentors, friends, and teachers.
I remember how I’d share what I was afraid of, what I really wanted, and what I loved about the person sitting in front of me.
And I’d always fall in love with whoever was sitting in front of me.
When Andrew and I got together, our love scared us so much that we stopped sharing with each other.
And the fights added up so we stopped feeling safe to expose ourselves.
I pulled out this practice.
And he’d get all resistant and not want to do it.
And I’d be starved for compliments and affection so I’d make us do it.
And then…just like that…we’d say the hard things.
The things we’d been holding in our hearts.
What we really loved about each other.
Every time, he’d say, “I just love how emotional you are, that you feel everything so deeply.”
“I love how powerful and smart you are.”
And I’d tell him how he had a heart of gold and I respected him more than any man I’d ever met.
And just like that…we’d fall in love.
Try it for yourself.
It’s kind of scary, but hey, if love was easy, we’d all have it.
Love is for the truth-tellers…the wild ones…the ones who share their fears, their desires, and their love.
And this 12-minute practice will teach you to do just that.
It’s also AMAZING to do once a week in your romantic relationship…
And you can also do it with friends as well.
I use it with everyone in my life that I want to have a deeper love with.
Andrew and I probably wouldn’t be together if it weren’t for this one practice! So check it out in the video below.
PS: You can try the audio follow-along practice below: