I’ve always felt that the best way to initiate a resistant/skeptical/non woo-woo partner (or what we HP nerds call “Muggles”) into the vast expanses of their sexuality is through a sensual pussy or penis massage.
It allows them to feel first-hand how truly MAGICAL a deeper sexual experience is for their pleasure and…well, entire existence.
So in this week’s video, I’ll guide you through a 12-step penis massage for a partner who is resistant to spirituality (but still down to have their mind-blown in an earth-shattering kind of way.)
I don’t want to have one more thing to worry about.
I’ve never seen a shocker in porn.
If it’s not broke, don’t fix it.
It sounds like work.
This video is for the resistant men, the “Vipassana what?” men, the, “I don’t have time for your neo-tantra, I’m surviving the pandemic,” men. So look, in my life, I have initiated so many resistant men, so many muggle men. And what I mean by that is men who don’t yet know that they are made of pure magic. The men who have not yet said yes to their sacred sexual nature. So true story, I fell madly in love with an Australian, alcoholic wall builder. He literally built walls for a living and in that mad, passionate love affair, he had a mind blowing Kundalini awakening, and it changed his whole life and put him on a deep spiritual path.
I have literally engaged with a Northern California pot grower who found God inside of his penis. I worked with an Apple engineer who was like, all of this is woo, woo. I just have so much money that I’m willing to try crazy random stuff that I’m sure won’t work. And I was like, oh, really, try me, actually try chakra breathing and breath work. And he found the universe inside of his cock and inside of his heart through these very magical practices. So I’m going to be straight with you, most guys, many guys are more resistant to sacred sexuality and to energy in my experience, but it is not because they’re less magical but because toxic masculine conditioning and porno brainwashing has taught them time and time again to close down the channels, the sensitivity, the portals within them that would allow them to access their sacred sexuality and their true sexual magnificence and greatness. And I have never encountered a single man who has said, you know what, I regret opening myself up to the soul drenching universe, enlivening, body enhancing, divinely infused, magical orgasm that is available to me through sacred sexuality. In fact, most men I have seen are in tears because they never ever thought such beauty was possible inside of sexuality.
So this penis massage for muggles, is an invitation into that space, creating a safe, slow, patient space for him to tap into something so deep and so profound that rages in the face of all the limited male conditioning, and yet awakens something deeply powerful and sacred within him that the two of you then get to share.
So here for you is a 12 step penis massage to initiate a resistant or “non-spiritual” man into the world of sacred sexuality.
So step one is context is everything. And what I mean by that is this is not your good old fashioned hand job, this is something else. And what I mean by that is that a hand job is like let me touch him hard enough and fast enough until he ejaculates or until he’s hard enough so we can do something else.
A penis massage, goddess, is an experience where there is no pressure, no pressure to have a hard on, no pressure to be turned on and no pressure to feel anything.
So step 2, it’s going to be your job as a giver to create a more sacred space. So it’s not just telling him that this is a space where there’s no pressure to ejaculate, no pressure to get a hard on, but actually embodying that in yourself, feeling that I’m going to inhale and exhale every moment and just connect with his body whatever arises.
So you turn it into a ritual sacred space by what you tell him, but also how you show up inside of your own body. Step three, create a sexy sensual space. What I mean by that is light candles, put on a sexy playlist. We’ve got one recommended for you if you download our Penis Massage Guide, which you can find the link to down below this video, and anything else that’s going to make him feel safe and supported. If it’s chilly in the room, offer him a blanket. You can warm up the oil. That’s a pro tip. It feels much more delicious if you heated the oil ahead of time.Just think of how can I make this feel out of our everyday reality?
Step 4, you’re going to have your partner lie down and what I’m going to invite you to do after you’ve explained to him what this massage is going to be and how there’s no expectations is to invite him to do deeper breathing for three minutes. So a deep, full inhale and a relaxed exhale.
This deep, full inhale with a relaxed exhale actually activates his vagus nerve and puts him into a more deeply sensitized and connected space. And what can be very powerful is if you breathe along with him, so you’re going to inhale and exhale along with him. This creates a harmonic resonance between your bodies, which can also open up an energy field. So even if he doesn’t feel that or know what that is necessarily, he can still experience the effects.
Step5, you’re going to invite him to do 20 inhales and exhales. After his 20th exhale, he’s going to hold the exhale in stillness and you’re going to invite him to focus on his penis and testicles inside of the stillness. Why would you have him do this? It brings his attention deeply into his testicles and his penis. It also gets him out of his critical thinking mind and activates a level of connection to his body that happens in stillness rather than in thought.So you can do two rounds of this or you can do more if he’s more advanced.
Step six, you’re going to start by massaging his pelvis, his hips and his thighs. So you’re not going to go straight for the penis. And this is very important. So as you’re doing this piece, you want to encourage him to take deep breaths and to keep feeling his sensations. So what this does is it’s going to bring him deeper and deeper into the sensitivity of his body. You can also ask him how he likes the pressure and the speed so that you’re getting continuous feedback and guidance and optimizing the massage for what’s going to feel best to him.
If you want a deeper description of how to do this, you can download the penis massage guide below, and we’ll give you a more detailed description of exactly how to do this part of the massage.
In step 7, you’re going to start to explore his cock, and what you’re going to do with this is you can actually place a palm with your fingers spread over his penis with his penis placed upwards towards his navel. And you can drizzle the warm oil, a lot, a lot of oil over your hand and start to stroke upwards. So you’re going to do one hand after another stroking upwards, and then you can switch and do one hand after the other stroking downwards.After you feel that you’ve done this for a few minutes, you can slow down, take longer than you usually would.
You’re going to switch to step 8 and you’re going to massage his testicles. So you can cup his testicles in one hand, using your less dominant hand and roll the flat palm of your other hand over his testicles slowly. You can also gently, but very gently tug on them and pull on them. Again, you’re not trying to go straight for turn on or hard on or anything like that. You’re creating a varied sensory experience for him to drop into.
Step 9, you’re now going to start to bring him to a pleasure edge. What you can do is you can start to touch him on his penis the way that he loves most. So this could be like a standard hand job stroke. If you’ve done any of my other penis massage videos, it could be one of the strokes that he loves the most that you’ve already learned. And what you’re going to do is you’re going to start to turn him on only if it’s happening organically and you’re going to invite him to tell you when he gets to a level nine of turn on. So level zero is like I’m not turned on at all and level 10 is like I’m so turned on I’m ejaculating.
So you’re going to invite him to let you know if and when he approaches a level nine. If he gets to a level nine, you’re going to stop, pause, invite him to inhale and exhale for at least a minute while you don’t touch him at all. After that, if he’s gotten a little soft or if he’s a little bit less turned on, that’s actually what you’re looking for. And then you’re going to start stroking him again and again, letting him know to tell you when he gets to a level nine, and then you’re going to do that one more time. So you’re going to do three rounds of that.
Now, the reason you’re doing this is that a lot of guys just go through one cycle of turn on all the way into ejaculation. When you do this cycle, bringing up to a level nine and back down again, what you’re doing is you’re actually building the pleasure and sensitivity of his nervous system. And most guys, but not all guys will end up having a much more powerful, much deeper and longer lasting orgasm after they have this experience.
And step 10, before you bring him to ejaculation, if you are going to bring him to ejaculation, pause and worship his cock.
And what I mean by that is you’re going to find three things that you find beautiful about his penis or that you’re grateful for. And what this does is it actually switches the energy because a lot of guys, but not all, have this subtle conditioning that their sexuality is predatory or they’re taking something from their partner. And so what you do here is you actually reprogram that to say your cock is beautiful. It’s a gift. It’s pure pleasure. It’s all of these amazing things. And so you’re actually putting him into a very high vibration state before he orgasms.
Some people have never thought about that in their entire life. What kind of vibration are you in? What kind of relationship do you have to your genitals before you have an orgasm? And this allows them to have that kind of experience.
So step 11, if he’s turned on and wants to ejaculate and/or orgasm, you’re going to touch him and stroke him and pleasure him all the way to ejaculation or orgasm. And what I would encourage you to do is to tell him to keep breathing, keep feeling, keep encouraging him to feel whatever he’s feeling.
And if you want, towards the very end, you can actually place your palm over his chest and his heart. And this will connect his penis and his sexual experiences to his heart. You are sitting back and allowing him to experience first hand how breathing can impact his sexuality, how taking a few breaks from being pleasured can impact his sexuality, how expanding his pleasure geography to include his testicles or his thighs can shift his sexual experiences. And for you, this is really about surrendering. That’s what it is to be excellent at penis massage.
This is your goddess warrior practice is to sit and hold space for whatever shows up. So I don’t know about you, me as a woman, I long to be held in a sacred space where my lover will show up for whatever I’m feeling, not pressure me to orgasm or feel pleasure, allow me to cry or rage or heal or whatever needs to come up, or be there in service to my greatest ecstatic orgasm. And so what I’m inviting you into is to hold that space as your practice because men and people with penises crave that sacred space too. They may not always know it or articulate it, but I can guarantee you from all the experiences I’ve had it nourishes them just as deeply as it nourishes us.
Step 12, allow him to integrate. So maybe he wants to lie stillness, maybe he wants a cuddle. And then I’d highly recommend that you do what I call a recap, which is to take about five minutes and share what you experience, what’d you learn, what’d you get, what’d you love, what do you want more of, what would you like to change, and what are you grateful for in your partner in that experience. So one of you will go and share. Maybe you allow him to share first and then you can share. And what that does is it allows you to really understand how that was for each other.
You don’t walk away wondering or with misunderstandings, but you have this clear, beautiful time to share your experience and also to express gratitude. So if you are wanting to give this experience to your partner, then I highly recommend that you, I have no idea where this is pointing right now, but I hope it’s pointing the right place. You can go ahead and download the Penis Massage Guide down below. We’ll give you more advanced tips of different strokes you can do, also a suggested playlist on Spotify that you can go ahead and check out.
And I have to tell you, because I’ve been doing penis massage videos for like I don’t know how long now, maybe like five plus years, and they are some of my favorite emails that I get from people who either received the massage or gave the massage saying, holy shit, that actually changed my life. So I wish that for you. This is such a profound and deep experience and do write in and let us know how it goes for you once you’ve actually given this a go.