So yesterday, I walked into the living room where Andrew was sitting in front of the fire and threw myself on the floor and in my most whiney voice begged, “Pllllllleeeease, please can you give me some compliments?”
Yes, sometimes Andrew’s an incredible partner and just walks in and gives me the 3-part compliment I love and crave: one compliment about how much he loves me, one compliment about how beautiful I am, and one compliment about how amazing I am as a human.
And you might think that many compliments would last me like a whole year. But no, it lasts about a day, and then I become a compliment monster and I’m f***ing hungry all over again.
Now, if your Love Language isn’t “words of affirmation,” then you might be like, “UGGGGGGGGggg, that sounds AWFUL. I hate receiving compliments and you sound SUPER ANNOYING AND NEEDY!!”
But, if your Love Language is “words of affirmation,” aka compliments, then you’re probably nodding your head like, “Yep, I know what it’s like to beg a partner for compliments or to just GIVE UP begging a resistant partner even though compliments would FEED MY PARCHED SOUL.”
Each of us have a Love Language.
This is how we feel loved by our partner. So for instance, one partner might love “acts of service.” If you take out the trash or read to the kid or walk the dog, they’ll feel SUPER LOVED.
When Andrew walks the dog, I’m like, “That’s cool.” But I don’t feel deeply loved like when he tells me that he desires my luscious ass.
Someone else might be a “gifts” person, meaning they’ll feel loved if you surprise them with flowers or tickets to the new Star Wars.
The point is, everyone is different, but a common issue in relationships lies in trying to give the thing that makes you happy to your partner, rather than the thing that makes them happy.
I love to compliment Andrew, but he doesn’t really care when I compliment him. (So, so sad.)
So we end up having to beg each other for our Love Language needs to be fulfilled. (You can find out what he has to beg me for in this week’s video.)
I wanted to share this with you now because if you’re socially isolating as a couple, have you noticed how everything feels magnified?
If you aren’t giving your partner what they really desire, it can create underlying tension and arguments.
However, if you know your own Love Language, you know what to ask for…
And if you know your partner’s Love Language, you can support and adore them in the way they most desire during these stressful times.
Watch the video below to learn how Andrew and I try (and often fail) to fulfill each other’s Love Languages!
The 5 Love Languages is a book by Gary Chapman and you can take the quiz HERE to find out what yours are.
P.S. Want to do some amazing practices with your partner that will bring you closer together and electrify your relationship… especially during this weird a** time where we’re all stuck at home together? Then get my FREE Epic Lovers digital guide here and I’ll share some super fun and intimate practices that you can do right away. Enjoy 😉
P.P.S. If you’re interested in a fully supported relationship deep dive with your partner, I’ve been busy cooking up a brand new couple’s course that I’ll be announcing in a few days! So keep an eye on your inbox for all the juicy details!