Being able to give your lover a lap dance is a major turn-on…
But it’s also a way for you to fully own your sexuality and your particular flavor of sexy!
Yes, you get to be an object of desire for someone else…
And you get to luxuriate in your own sexiness, confidence, and body.
Learning how to give a lap dance can add a major spark and loads of fun to any relationship.
And this week’s VITA™ TV episode is all about learning key lap dance moves and how finding your unique erotic dance style can be healing, empowering, and super arousing, with or without a lover.
So… go get your hottest pair of panties (or just some glitter)…
And let’s dance.
Here’s the Spotify playlist to inspire your sexiest, most sensual lap dance!
If you want more support in fully owning your sexuality and inviting your most magnificent self to come out and play, then check out my FREE Wild Woman Masterclass below!
You’ll find simple practices to help you reclaim your wildness, your freedom, and your authentic sexual expression.
Transcript:
How to Give a Lap Dance
So I’m so excited for you to learn how to give a most exquisite sensual and sexy lap dance, but to do it from a place where you are in reclamation of your body and your sexuality. So the best lap dance will turn you on just as much as your partner.
If feeling sexy and confident in your body is something that you’ve been wanting to work on, I’ve included my Wild Woman Masterclass down below, which will give you three different practices that you can do ahead of time to get really in yourself, your sensuality and your sexuality. It’s totally free. You can find the link down below and it takes you step by step into how you can reclaim a sexier wild version of yourself.
The key to giving an excellent lap dance is to practice yourself. So you don’t want to get in front of a partner, try and give a lap dance and do what I would do, which is go beet red, start being really awkward and then try and shake my ass and have the whole thing fall apart.
So when you have a lap dance practice, you’re doing it for you. So one of the things that I would highly suggest would be to pick out your outfit and pick one to three songs. So two is usually great for beginners and you want lush, slow, sexy songs. We’ve included some suggestions linked down below.
So once you’ve picked the songs, I highly recommend that you do either one to seven days where you are dancing to the songs yourself, and you’re practicing the lap dance moves, but you’re really doing it so that you feel sexy. You feel like it’s yours, it’s for your turn on and your pleasure. One of the biggest keys is to pick an outfit or lingerie that makes you feel super hot. That’s different for everyone and that you know is also a turn on for your partner.
One of the keys as well is the difference, usually between a lap dance and a club dance, or an ecstatic dance is that you dance twice as slow. So that means if normally you’d be like one two, if you’re doing a lap dance, you’d go one… two. You’re really slowing down every movement and the reason this can be so challenging is that when you slow down, you feel more.
So if you have insecurity hangups, self-doubt, you’ll feel that more, the more that you slow down and that’s why practicing by yourself in your own bedroom can be such a powerful reclamation, because it gives you the space to actually work through any places where you might shut down or get a little bit shy.
As you look at yourself, I highly recommend having a mirror available. Doing the dance in front of the mirror, doing the moves in front of the mirror you can actually slowly come deeper and deeper into your body and claim the experience for yourself. So some of the practices to train yourself in are the figure eight.
So this is when you move your hips in an infinity loop or a figure eight, and as you do this, I really encourage self touch. Stroking your neck, your breasts, your lower belly, your hips, your ass, even your vulva.
It’s really beautiful when you’re doing your own practice to really self-pleasure so that you are associating this movement with deep pleasure inside of your own body. The more turned on you are and the better it feels for you, the better it’s going to feel for your partner.
The second practice is the show off. So this is where you really show off different parts of your body in a super erotic way. So you can get on all fours and when you have your partner there, you can be leaning over their legs. You can swivel your ass, you can grind your ass. You can lay on top of their legs and stroke your breasts, stroke your belly, stroke your vulva. Show off your legs, your neck, your face and this can be so fun to do by yourself because as you look at yourself in the mirror, you learn to actually show off your body in a way that makes you feel totally delighted with your own beauty.
Number three is the reverse cowgirl. So in this, you are standing with your ass and your back to your partner, and you’re going to slowly back up and ride them from behind. So this is a lot of swiveling of your ass up and down movements and it’s a very teasing style of movement. When you’re practicing this on your own, I highly recommend that you back up towards the edge of your bed and practice grinding up and down on a pillow sitting on the edge of your bed and really find that rhythm and movement that feels totally hot to you. So you can go ahead and lean back on your partner, have them put their head forward onto your shoulder and you can stroke their hair as you grind on top of their lap.
Number four is the kneel and slide. So as you’re facing your partner or the mirror, you’re going to slowly grind down until you’re either touching the ground or holding your knees in very close to the ground and you’re going to keep to a rhythm. So it’s like you’re grinding and rolling as you’re very low to the ground.
If you want, at this point, you can lean forward and crawl down on the ground with your ass up in the air and start rolling in a really sexy way. With your partner you can slowly place one hand on one knee, one hand on the other and roll up their body so you’re teasing them with your breasts along the way.
If you feel like it, you can even put a nipple right into their mouth and tease them and then take it away. You can kiss either side of your body and keep rolling your way up, teasing them and pressing your body against theirs along the way.
Number five is the grinding goddess. You can place one knee on either side of your partner’s lap. Again, if you are doing the practice by yourself, you can do this over a pillow. You’re going to learn to grind up and down over their lap and you can do this over the pillow. As you do this, you can touch yourself, caress your breasts, caress your vulva.
When you grind up and down over your partner, you’re going to do this in a very slow, very sensual, very teasing way. If you want to finish the lap dance here, you can also roll over stroking your body as you lay across their lap, turning yourself on. Then you can roll off, finishing the lap dance and walking away. If you’re going to turn the lap dance into love making at this point, you can pull your partner in on top of you and commence some of the most erotic love making of your entire life.
So some key takeaways are to practice all of these moves on your own one to seven times with a mirror until you really feel confident. Be aware that if you’ve never done this before the first couple of times you might feel kind of dorky or even a little bit embarrassed, or you might notice the parts of you that feel a little ashamed or contracted. Keep going and you will find this deep sexual reclamation, especially if you touch your body and involve self pleasuring in the movement. This is something we teach in our classes because it’s such an erotic turn on. It’s such a form of reclaiming your own sexuality. It’s super, super hot.
Now, when you actually do this with your partner, you can give them some rules. It’s nice to make them sit on their hands or give them a very strict no touching rule. So they can’t touch you and that emphasizes the teasing aspect, and it also puts you in the power of touching yourself but not having them touch you. There’s a really beautiful power dynamic in that.
If at any time during your lap dance, you feel silly, totally just giggle. Tell your partner that you felt a bit silly and then drop back into it. Sometimes if we’re so afraid that we might mess up, we never actually move forward with our lap dance. So give yourself the space to be totally human in the process and you’ll have a lot more fun and it’ll be a lot more sexy overall.
So as I shared before, if reclaiming this wild sexuality is something that you’re interested in, then check out my wild masterclass down below. It’ll walk you through a series of practices that will help you in this full sexual reclamation.
Go ahead and subscribe to the YouTube channel and if you want, we’ve now included the entire lap dance after this. So you can watch it and watch the moves really carefully and use it to practice on your own if you desire.
(Singing)
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